Get Your Stupid Hands Off My Lady Business

I’m just going to lay it right out there and say it: I am old enough to know about lady parts. Not only that, I took several classes in high school and college that gave me a detailed knowledge of not only the female body, but the male body, too.

And probably even moreso than men, women are often forced to become very educated very early on when it comes to our bodies. You guys, yeah, what, you grow some hair down there, your voice gets deeper? We grow boobs and bleed every month. And if we don’t bleed every month, we pretty much have to become experts in why – because regardless of whether the reason is giant ass tumor or baby, we will be expected to understand and learn about the new thing our body is doing.

Which is why I say, rather unrespectfully because I’ve frankly had a guff full of it, get your mitts out of my lady parts. I don’t need you to tell me what my embryo looks like. I don’t need you to explain birth control. And I certainly do not need you, Georgia State Rep. Terry England, to tell me that if my fetus were to die inside me, I would have to risk my physical and mental health carrying it until I naturally gave birth.

And I certainly do not need you comparing me to farm animals. Unless, of course, I get to compare you to a jackass.

That being said, I sent you a note via Facebook messenger AND through your staff. I’m waiting to hear your response. My letter, for everyone else (and just in case you don’t know how to work the Facebooks or the emails, you misogynistic, inbred troglodyte), went something like this:

I am a journalist in Texas, and have some questions I was hoping Mr. England could answer regarding HB954, which, according to Mr. England, would require a woman to carry a stillborn fetus until nature takes its course, like farm animals do.

My question is this: Since this law equates people with animals, does this mean you are also in favor of bestiality and cannibalism? After all, if someone could have sex with a person, they should be able to have sex with an animal if they want. If a person eats heifers and pigs, they should be able to eat another human, and even raise them in stalls and feed them for slaughter, if they so choose.

I look forward to hearing when Mr. England will pass legislature for these things, too.

So tick, tock, Mr. England. We’re all waiting. And by the way, how’s your penis?



  1. My cousin was about 30 weeks pregnant when we went in for a routine doctor’s appointment and discovered that her baby boy was no longer alive. I can not fathom the pain she has had to push through since that moment even through today. The only relief I think she had was to be able to move on with her life immediately. That still meant that she had to deliver a baby she already knew was dead and bury him.
    To tell a woman that she MUST continue to let her baby rot inside her is barbaric. It helps no one – doesn’t help the baby (who has sadly already passed), the mother, the family, the doctors who must now more-closely monitor the health of the mother.


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